Funny that my verse for the day in my Kay Arthur flipbook was about Mary and Martha... I tend to be so much like Martha at times and this pregnancy has forced me to slow down and become more Mary-like. But funny how even in those moments, my mind wanders to what I could and should be doing. Could be personality, could be long list of to-do's since moving into a new home and getting settled, could be that any distraction is temptation when I could be spending time with my LORD. But I'm choosing to put words to lessons learned and reflections made over the last month - hoping to hold onto these lessons. Especially today as I'm very aware of Jesus' sacrifice for me. And I want to be more in practice of sacrificing for Him.
A message at church got me a couple weeks ago. It didn't hit me so profoundly at the time, but as days go by, I think about it more and more. The pastor was talking about Jesus being our Savior AND our Lord. We so often focus on Him saving us from our temptations, sinful habits and inconvenient or uncomfortable circumstances. And while He does serve as that Saving King, He is also my Lord, to whom I am a willing servant, bound to Him for EVERYTHING.
I am on the brink of having even less me-time and less official "quiet time" with the Lord as I look down the calendar page to baby girl's arrival in a few weeks. And a part of me mourns that, as Riley gets older and takes less frequent naps and as baby girl will be on a whole different schedule than Riley. And yet, I'm trying to choose to see this season as growing my creativity with my LORD. If EVERYTHING I do is for and because of Him, then that means the simple things of motherhood, wifehood (is that a word?!) and mehood (I KNOW that's not a word, but oh well), I can still worship and spend time with Him as Lord whilst being surrounded by distraction.
And maybe this is preparation for this next season of purpose, after learning so lessons in the move to Chicago. I have learned that:
- God fulfills His promise to give us the strength and grace we need to get through each day. It might not be all the strength we want and it may not mean that life is easy, but He will be with us as we walk through the different paths in our lives. He doesn't necessarily give us strength for tomorrow, for our focus should be on today. But in the moment, He will be our strength if we let Him.
- It is overwhelmingly special to be accepted with open arms in any new situation in life. We have had such a powerful and accepting welcome from people in Chicago. You may say it's the Midwestern style, but we feel like it's more than that... God has provided us with encouragement and hope with the people we've come in contact with. We have felt people genuinely caring for us and providing for us, including meals after we moved in, neighborly visits with freshly baked bread and treats, asking deep and authentic questions to find out how we're really doing, playdates, prayer, and a genuine interest in who we are and how we are adjusting. I've had invitations to mom groups and have met so many people that are excited that we are here. What a difference that makes - and what an encouragement for me to remember to offer in the future when I meet someone new.
- Patience is learned through practice. After having life completely change - new home in a new state with a new job for both Ryan and me (I'm now staying at home full time), and a new baby on the way, I'm learning that while my independent and stubborn self just wants to be settled already, there is purpose for things taking time. In the midst of the change, God shows us more about ourselves - our character, areas that we need to work on, our goals and hopes, and how we can use all of this to relate to others. And I have enjoyed the way that my Lord is teaching me. Gentle and gracious. He knows I'm in a semi-fragile state of mind and so He builds me up while He is showing me areas to work on. "It's Your kindness that leads to repentance. It's Your love that brings forgiveness. It's Your mercy that brings me here to Your throne of grace..."
I could go on and on, but this blog is getting long. I'm so thankful for our emotions, that allow us to feel deeply whatever we are going through and how God uses those emotions to teach and mold and shape us. He has brought us out of a place of comfort into a life where we are forced to deal with ourselves and our relationship with Him in a more personal and desperate place. I am grateful that He meets us where we are, in the midst of those emotions to comfort and strengthen us while the refining is occurring. And so, what better place to be than in the fire with my Lord.
And we are loving the closeness we are feeling as a family of almost 4, relying on each other more and enjoying encouraging and loving each other more. There is so much good in change, when we allow the Lord to be in the center of the change...
